When is it okay to fuck a dead pig?

Never.

Corbyn refused to sing karaoke

New Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has caused outrage this week as he refused to partake in his local pub's karaoke night.

Corbyn attended the event which takes place weekly, every Friday night.

It is said that a friend put Corbyn forward to sing without the left winger knowing anything about it.

Corbyn was surprised to see his name called out but slowly made his way to the stage with cheers coming from his supporters.

The music started and the words appeared on the screen but when Corbyn refused to sing he just stood there, silently.

His stance has caused a fierce debate in the karaoke scene.

Charlotte Gibson said "I know he didn't put himself up for it but he was up there, he could have made an effort, it doesn't have to be any good, that's the point"

However one of his supporters, Steve Anderson said "It was out of order putting him up for it, if he doesn't want to sing it he shouldn't have to".

Thousands of refugees are trapped in Hungary until at least January as transfer window slams shut

A large number of refugees from the Middle East and some from North Africa are thought to be stranded in Hungary without a chance of moving on anywhere for at least four months as the transfer window crawly slammed shut on them yesterday.

A spokesperson for the Hungarian government said "we tried to get some of refugees deals sorted elsewhere in the EU but it was difficult, some didn't have the right paperwork like work permits etc, a few of them didn't even have agents.  How did they expect us to find them somewhere to go?

The migrants who are said to be fleeing the harsh conditions of war, famine, lack of decent food and clean water have come to Europe in the hope of finding a better life. Many of them were hoping to make it to Germany but it is now thought they will have to stay in Hungary until January.

The Hungarian spokesman said "we might be able to loan some of them to countries where the window isn't enforced for a few months and then they can move on when the window reopens.  If we do loan a few thousand of them out then we'll nearly have as many loaned out as Chelsea have.

Wenger: I went into every single newsagents and bought all of their panini stickers but couldn't find the players I wanted

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger reacted angrily last night at not being able to "find the players" he wanted as he looked to complete the perfect squad in stickers.

Wenger said "It's frustrating, I've got the money, I just don't seem to be able to spend it wisely, no matter how hard I try."

It's not clear what players Wenger needed but it's thought a striker was on the top of his shopping list.

A spokesman for panini said "Specific stickers can be ordered direct from our online shop if Mr Wenger would like to try on there."

When we put this to the French manager he said "I don't know about that but I've contacted all the other managers and asked if they'd do any swapsies but none of them got back to me.  I've left voicemails, sent emails, left messages with them at their clubs but no-one bothered to respond.

Tony Blair: Corbyn needs to go back to old new Labour, new new Labour just doesn't work

Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair has crawled out of his cave to show his discontent at people voting for a socialist in the Labour leader election.

Blair took time out of his humanitarian work in Palestine to attack the socialist Jeremy Corbyn by accusing him of using 'Alice In Wonderland politics'.

Blair said "I think we can all agree that traditional Labour is dead, nobody wants to go back to that.  I introduced new Labour as a way of introducing a fresher approach to the Conservative way of thinking.  No-one likes the Tories so I introduced their policies under the Labour brand"

Blair was speaking as he donated blood on the Gaza Strip and said "Now Corbyn seems to be introducing a new form of old Labour, it's horrible. All of my hard work now appears to be undone.  I remember the days when the Sun published pro Labour headlines and it was me going horse riding with Rebekah Brooks, not a Tory.

Once Blair had finished giving blood he got up, put his jacket and said "now do you mind, I've got mouths to feed" as he made his way to a soup kitchen on the West Bank.

Harry Redknapp: I'll be available if any sports journalist wants to come and talk to me through my Land Rover window, just for old times sake

Football manager Harry Redknapp has said that he will be available for a live on camera chat to any sports journalist today as it's the last day of the transfer window.

Redknapp is renowned for his dealings in the transfer market, especially on deadline day and traditionally it has been a popular image to see him live on sports news channels talking to reporters through his Land Rover window as he discusses potential signings.

However Redknapp is currently out of work which means the FA has set the time of the window closing to the earlier time of 6pm on Tuesday 1st of September, rather than the usual 11pm.

A spokesman for the FA said "that without Redknapp there just isn't the need for those extra hours so we're cutting it short."

However Redknapp has said he will be available if anyone wants a chat.

Redknapp said "I've had a couple of news channels get in touch and they say they're interested, we're sorting out the final details but it'll happen.  I'm going to be driving around to services on the M25 and I'll text them clues as to where.  They'll need to get there in time if they want a chat.

A spokesman for Sky Sports News said "Yeah, we're doing this.  No-one wants to sit there watching the same rubbish on a continual loop all day so the demand for fresh content is high"

As David De Gea deal falls through Real Madrid say "We didn't realise they'd sent a fax"

The long running saga over the on/off David De Gea transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid spectacularly feel through last night after it appears Madrid didn't realise that United had sent them a fax.

A spokesman for Madrid said "We have a fax machine in our club office but nobody has used that since 2003, ironically the last time we used that was to complete the transfer of David Beckham, also from Manchester United.

The Spanish goalkeeper has now been left in limbo over his future unsure where he'll be playing this season.

The Madrid spokesman said "We feel for the player, if Manchester United are still using fax machines then what equipment do they use during training, medicine balls?  We were sat waiting all day waiting for the email, I even missed my siesta waiting for it to come through.

Mourinho: We're trying to be retro

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has commented on his teams poor form that has seen his team pick up only one win in the opening four games of the Premier League this season.

The outspoken Portuguese manager said 'Everywhere I turn I see people talking about how things used to be, about how they're fond of their childhoods and how much they miss yesteryear.  So I think to myself okay, let's bring back the Chelsea of old.  I looked at the Chelsea of the 1980s, everyone loves the 80s and I've tried to replicate their style of play, results and the form of the era.

The 1980s was the most turbulent decade of Chelsea's history.  They spent most of that ten year period in the the old Second Division and we're very nearly relegated to the Third tier of English football.

Things weren't much better for them off the pitch either, the club very nearly faced bankruptcy and was eventually saved by Ken Bates who bought the club in 1982, took on the club's debts and turned Chelsea into the major force in English football that attracted current owner Roman Abramovich to buy the club in 2003.

Mourinho was speaking in a press conference after their 2-1 defeat at home to Crystal Palace yesterday, a result which has seen them have their worst start to a league campaign for 44 years.

He told a shocked news room "Hey, why are you laughing, it's true, we're trying out retro Chelsea.  We're bringing in an obnoxious old man that looks like Father Christmas' evil twin to run things on a day to day basis, hopefully the blue 'Save the Bridge' buckets will see the light of day again, I think we've still got some knocking about around here.

'Fans can help too, feel free to invade the pitch during a game if you want or smash up your own stadium or even public transport.  If they do this enough then we can have electric fences again.  Other ways fans can help is by not bothering to turn up at all, hopefully we'll get relegated and play in front of 8,000 at home to Rotherham again, that'll be fun.

Mourinho completed by saying 'We're bringing Kerry Dixon out of retirement, his shorts will need to be bigger than they used to be but hopefully still be skin tight and we're looking for a computer company that wants to sponsor a cup competition that only we're interested in so at least we can still get a trophy at the end of the season.

Children's TV Fun House set to return to determine who is made a Lord

1990s children's TV show Fun House hosted by Pat Sharp is set to make a come back with the top prize being made a Lord.

The show was a regular hit with youngsters of ages ranging from 5 until their early teens but it is thought the revamp will be aimed towards adults.

Ideas about how the show is structured are thought to include who can waste the most amount of money in a spending spree with the larger heavier items costing more.  Each contestant is given a fictional amount of someone else's money and they have to come up with increasingly creative ways to waste that amount.

There are also suggestions that the contestants would have to take part in make believe scenarios like starting wars in various countries and whoever can create the most refugees will win the points.  

Other scenarios are thought to include thinking up creative ways to reduce national spending by killing off disabled people unable to work and how to change an edgy liberal political party go from being popular into a down trodden party that no-one would ever vote for.  Whoever can get the lowest number of votes will make it into the "Fun House". 

TV producer Andrew Gibson said "I feel this is a great idea, the contestants will compete over a five year period and then when it's done the winners will be announced.

Speaking from his office at Ivory Tower House, Gibson went on "Thankfully it's only a bit of a laugh and thankfully not based on real life events.  We tried to come up with ideas that are potentially possible so could be realistic but fortunately nothing too bad and something that we can all have a good laugh at.

Immigrants, the unemployed and disabled people cause stock markets tofall

Stock markets world wide have fallen into turmoil and experts have said that too many people in disadvantaged positions are the cause.

Andy Pun, an economist with a right wing newspaper that doesn't pay tax said, just look, we've got people who are claiming too much money without putting anything in.  What do these people do when they've been burgled, they call the police, so they use our services but don't pay anything in?

The news comes as stock markets around the world have tumbled and it is thought that rather than blaming reckless spending by banking bosses, the cause is from those who indirectly affect things from the bottom of society.

Pun went on "It's inevitable that this would happen, you've got disabled people living in houses with extra bedrooms that they don't need, unemployed people refusing to work long hours for a pittance and immigrants who are fleeing war zones for the chance of a better life.

Clarkson dropped from BBC: Reaction and latest

Breaking news as Jeremy Clarkson has been told by the BBC that they will not be renewing his contract.

The former Top Gear presenter has been in limbo for two weeks after news emerged that he had been suspended from the BBC after a fight with a colleague about his steak being undercooked.

The BBC announced yesterday that they would be making a decision today.

Clarkson tweeted earlier that he "hadn't heard a thing" but speculators feel that this is because he he was in contract negotiations with Sky.  Clarkson later admitted that this was correct but it was because he was having difficulty deciding whether to add the movies package along with an extra set top box as he recently changed his provider from Virgin.

It is thought that Clarkson has not taken to the news well.

His wife said she "made sure that both the fridge and freezer were well stocked" in preparation for the statement.

She also stated that she is "taking the kids with her to stay at her mothers for a few days and has left the family pets with friends."

Police have also made a 500 yard exclusion zone around the Clarkson estate.

Meanwhile David Cameron's children are on suicide watch.

More to follow

Politician tells the truth as people can't quite believe it.

People are said to have reacted in shock as a politician tells the voters what he really thinks and what he plans to do.

The move by the politician who can't be named as we're not sure if he's been hypnotised or not was speaking to the BBC as part of their special piece on the major party leaders "Politicians are human too" ahead of the general election in May.

The report then lead to 15 minutes of discussion about why he's decided to tell the truth as speculators couldn't quite get to the bottom of it.

Some say that as his with was in the room when he was talking perhaps he finds it hard to lie when she is around, others say that the pressure just got to him.

Gary Butcher from Spalding said "I couldn't quite believe it when I heard, was it real?  There he was, I could see it was him, the words were his but he was honest, I almost fell over except I was already sitting down."

A member of the opposition who also can't be named, we're not a party election broadcast, said "It's a arrogant move by an arrogant man, he is trying to put it in the minds of the people that he has already won the elections d therefore making them seem like they're the only party to vote for"

Tories are big, lovable and cuddly say voters as chancellor delivers budget

British voters have come out in support of the Conservative party after the chancellor, George Osborne, known as Gideon to his friends, delivered his budget on Wednesday.

The 2015 budget is a "friendly" budget coming less than two months before a General Election.

Margaret Neilson from Cheshire said "I can't believe it, they've finally seen the light, they've actually started to meet some of their promises.

The budget sees help for everyone, money for homeowners, people who rent, married couples, single people, the old, the young, everybody.

Osborne even promised to punish the bankers making them pay back every single penny of the money they stole, along with the silver they took from the kitchens.

Osborne celebrated his budget by turning up in Tottenham, one of the poorest areas in London to help hand out supplies at a food bank.

Tony Pool, who has worked at the food bank for a number of years said "It was really nice to see George, I couldn't believe it when he turned up, that man has been so much the figure of hatred and disdain over the years and then here he is.  With his appearance and yesterday's helpful budget the cynic in me can't help but think he might be after something but I just can't think what that might be.

After visiting the food bank Osborne visited a soup kitchen where he again helped serve the people, for the first time in five years, and towards the end of the night he picked up his guitar and started playing some tunes and they had a sing-along.

While he was singing the popular song 'Every Breath You Take' Charlotte Castledine said "This is fantastic, he had presents for the kids and everything, I didn't even realise what a super sweet guy he is, I never thought I'd be saying that.

After everyone had gone home and Osborne helped clean up he said "It's nice to give something back to the British people for a change, all we've done over the past five years is take so I wanted to do this for votes, sorry I mean the British people. I begged DC (David Cameron) to let me out tonight so I could come down here and fortunately he allowed it.

BBC waiting on public opinion before making Clarkson decision.

A leak within the BBC has let it slip that they're waiting on public opinion on what to do with Jeremy Clarkson before making a "knee-jerk reaction".

Clarkson is currently suspended from the BBC after falling out with a producer about which flavour caviar is better.  Since last Tuesday he has been told he is not allowed to even watch any of their TV channels or listen to any of their radio stations.

But now a insider at the broadcaster said "the thing is we're always in trouble because we don't punish the bad apples within our organisation in the appropriate way, it's either too much or not enough.

The unnamed employee was thought to be drunk whilst as he made the remarks quite loudly in a bar in Central London.

He went on "We're waiting to see how much hate mail we receive while he's on suspension, we'll probably let him back in to be honest, he is very popular.

Busiest day for genealogy say experts as people attempt to find any tenuous link to being Irish

The 17th of March is a day of drinking and merrymaking for many wearing green clothing and four-leaf clovers but it is also said to be a day of head scratching and deciphering hand writing, say genealogy experts.

The sensational claims are made as it is the day when a lot of people try to link themselves in some way to the Emerald Isle just so they can celebrate "being Irish".

The day dates back to the time of St Patrick who celebrated his birthday on this day.  Known as Paddy to his friends the Irish Saint is thought to have invented the popular Irish drink Guinness a really long time ago.

However people that don't get to celebrate it as they are not Irish will go to extraordinary lengths to prove that their great great grandfathers uncle married a servant girl who served an Irish family, therefore allowing them to call themselves "Oirish".

Genealogy expert Teresa Plait said "This is the day when most people will visit our site, email or call us giving the names of their ancestors and ask for 'any Irish links'.

However historian Graeme Beatle said "St Patrick wasn't even Irish himself, he was born in England so it seems to be the perfect day to celebrate being a plastic paddy".

Outrage as D&G announce they will now use "real babies" for their clothes.

Fashion giant Dolce and Gabanna have caused outrage as they announced today that  they will now use real babies, as made by a man and a woman, rather than synthetic babies for their clothes. 

The popular fashion designers were speaking in an interview with an Italian fashion magazine said "Nobody likes fakes and that's what synthetic is, we'll make our clothes out of real babies not fake ones.

The fashion giants earlier upset Elton and David Furnish-John by not making a frock our of their "synthetic" child. 

Former synthetic singer Victoria 'Posh Spice' Beckham, now doing something in fashion, jumped on the bandwagon to launch a new range of real tortoise hats instead of the much frowned upon synthetic tortoise hats.

The former Spice Girl said "Who cares about tortoises, it's not like they're endangered. Fake tortoises wouldn't look good.

Elton John said "It seems we've learned nothing from the 'Fur is Murder' campaign.  Dolce and Gabanna are wrong to put fashion ahead of real babies.

James something and the other one beg Clarkson not to go

Jeremy Clarkson's Top Gear co-hosts, a man called James something and another guy whose name no-one else can remember have begged their controversial colleague not to leave the BBC show.

Clarkson, who is currently suspended from the BBC for a disagreement with a colleague who ate his last Rolo, has spoken about leaving the BBC.

If Clarkson were to go it would leave his colleagues in a sort of limbo until a suitable replacement was found.  Some say that the James bloke or the other guy could replace Clarkson themselves but this has been ruled out as neither are famous enough.

Clarkson hand picked the pair himself after finding them in a children's home on a visit as part of his humanitarian work, he adopted them and trained them up before the BBC gave them both a job on the show as, according to a BBC source, when Clarkson asked for them to be given a job "he looked angry".

We tried to get a quote from them but as they were never asked for quotes their agent stopped representing them and we couldn't look them up in the phone book as we don't know their names.

Brits left confused over Pi Day

The people of Britain have been left confused over an American phenomenon known as 'Pi Day'.

The phenomenon comes about because on March the 14th '15 at 9:26:53 the date followed by the time is the exact calculation of Pi to ten decimal places.

However, that is in the American format of the date, where they place the month before the day, so in the UK the date 14/03/15 will be 3/14/15 in the US and with the correct time the calculation of Pi can be read out for a second.

But Brits have reacted in outrage, Nicole Southern said "It's those yanks again, isn't it, getting it wrong, they used to be a British Colony, did we treat them so bad that they have to do everything different from us, they're like a disgruntled teenager."

The 14th of March is a day that usually sends scientists and mathematicians into uproar as it is also Albert Einstein's birthday but with it also be Pi Day it is thought it could send them into overload, possibly giving them an orgasm, many of them for the first time.

Brian Gibbs, a Farmer from the Cotswolds said "Yeah, it's a bit silly the way they do things in America but it doesn't bother me, we'll just celebrate it on the 31st of April instead.

Comic Relief should have released a golden watch that's also a phone in order to reach £1 billion quicker

Comic Relief, the BBC's comedy fund raising event, now in it's 30th year, has come into criticism after taking 30 years to reach £1billion raised for charity.

Last night's charity event raised £80million and counting.  These funds added to previous years now total to over £1billion.  Although it's been commended that any amount is a positive amount it has been criticised as taking "too long".

Richard Grey, a fan of the event said "I watch it every year and I make sure I get my friends and colleagues involved, we donate and have great fun but I can't help but think they could have reached that amount quicker if the had a product people could buy, maybe a watch that's also a phone, or something.

Clarkson: BBC hardest place to be fired from, I've tried everything.

Jeremy Clarkson has admitted that the BBC is the hardest place to get fired from.  The outspoken Top Gear presenter made the comment to some journalists camped outside his house whilst on his way out to the shops to buy some steak.

Clarkson said "I don't want to just walk away, I want them to fire me, that way I'll get a huge payout."

Clarkson is currently suspended from the BBC after a heated confrontation with a colleague about who got the last packet of Jelly Babies in the vending machine turned ugly, but Clarkson admitted controversy has followed him throughout his career.

He said "I slagged off some public workers while on the One Show, made a racist remark but they cut it, we went to Argentina and drove around with offensive number plates and I thought that last one would be it but alas not.  I've tried to be the biggest homophobic, fascist, misogynistic, male chauvinistic pig I could be but they're not interested at the BEEB, I just keep getting more and more popular.

However it is thought that this may be Clarkson's last chance as his contract expires at the end of this month.  Clarkson said "Now I'm just doing it out of spite, I did want those Jelly Babies but I could have just let the child who works for one of the kids TV programmes have them.  I knew I only had two episodes left so I thought i could do this, get suspended and have a few weeks off on full pay.  Then it's easy for the BBC because they just don't even need to make a decision, just don't renew my contract.

As Clarkson walked away to catch the bus he said "and now I have more time to devote to my humanitarian work, I'm thinking about going to countries where they don't give women the vote to campaign for them to do so and then I'm going to work with some anti-racism campaigns to help increase their profile.

Child not allowed to appear on Comic Relief for hitting producer

A child who was due to appear on this evenings Comic Relief has been told that he is no longer invited to take part on the show because he hit a producer.

The boy, who has to remain nameless for legal reasons, was told early yesterday evening that he is no longer invited on to the show be on the show "because of scenes of violence that can not be encouraged"

It is believed that the child, who has Tourettes is said to be "very upset".

It has been put forward that the child's condition could be the reason for the "assault". Because of his disability his movement becomes affected, he often has sudden movements and swings his arms out unexpectedly and although it has been argued that this is not an act of aggression BBC management have decided to take the harsh decision to not allow him onto the show.

A BBC spokesman said "It may be seen as being too strict but we felt we had to take this course of action, we couldn't allow this to be allowed to happen so we set out a precedent to all that we take a no tolerance approach to acts of violence.

Kids stopped by police for pretending to ride motorbikes on pavement

Two young boys both aged eight were stopped by police yesterday for the seemingly harmless game of pretending to ride motorcycles on the pavement.

PC Dave Barter from New Haven said "riding motorbikes on the pavement is dangerous and I just reminded them of that.  I know it's just a harmless game riding pretend bikes, that's just for now, how long until they're riding real motorbikes?  I just reminded them that it is unsafe to ride motorbikes on the pavement.

The father of one of the boys Nick Kent said "It's unbelievable really, it's health and safety gone mad, what does he want them to do, play in the road where it's safer for everyone?

Man wins landmark case which means he'll get kiss from girl 23 years after winning a game of spin the bottle

A man from Doncaster has won a landmark court case meaning that he will receive a kiss from a girl after winning the right to the kiss in a game of spin the bottle... 23 years after the event.

Neil Dorkings a 39 year old electrician  spoke outside the court saying "I'm absolutely made up, we were playing the game at a mutual friends birthday party, I span the bottle and it landed on her.  I don't think anything of her at the time but I recently added her as a friend on Facebook and wow, has she come of age.

The ruling is thought to lead to an unprecedented number of "debts" being settled years after they were won and left unclaimed.

People betting on things like Mouse Trap and Monopoly for marbles, sweets and the loser getting a punch in the arm are now thought to soon be settled.

The girl in question wishes to remain anonymous said "I'm disgusted, the game ended 23 years ago, the rules are that once you leave the circle that's it but the judge saw it otherwise.

Judge Brian Morestan QC has over 15 years experience said "nowhere in the rules does it stipulate that the kiss expires after a period of time.  If she didn't want to get involved she shouldn't have played the game, she did, she lost and now it's time to pay, it's as simple as that.

David Cameron to review TV shows after giving opinion of Top Gear

David Cameron is to have his own brand new weekly TV show, 'Cameron Reviews' where he'll review various TV programmes, after giving his opinions on Top Gear in the wake of the Jeremy Clarkson fallout.

In an interview with the BBC Cameron said "he (Clarkson) is a huge talent and he amuses and entertains so many people, including my children, who'd be heartbroken if Top Gear was taken off air, I hope this can be sorted out, because it's a great programme and he's a great talent."

TV producers were so impressed with Cameron's summing up of Top Gear that they decided to offer him a weekly TV show that will air on BBC Two on Sunday evenings at eight o'clock.

App Store crashes as millions of people can't download stuff they don't understand

Apple's App Store crashed yesterday meaning millions of people couldn't download complicated and often expensive apps that look pretty but are difficult to use.

Mike McCowen, a used car salesman from Bristol said "It was a nightmare, actually, I like looking through all the apps and downloading the ones I like the look of, whether I know how to use them or not, sometimes I just delete them after a couple of days anyway but it's still annoying.

Karen Webber, a student from Manchester said "I love downloading apps, I see what they are and what they can do later but when I first see them, I want them.  Even if I don't know how to use them, I don't care.  I could learn of course but that's too difficult , I just like pretending I can use them.

The professionally offended in two minds about signing Clarkson petition

The professionally offended, people that get offended at every joke even if it's not aimed at them, are in two minds about signing a petition that defends Jeremy Clarkson, a man they would normally sign a petition campaigning to against.

Clarkson was suspended by the BBC on Tuesday after it emerged that he had punched a producer over the lack of vol a vons in his dressing room, a public outcry and eventually a petition ensued.

However it turns out that people that don't have enough time on their hands that would usually sign a petition are now unsure whether to do so.

Emily Stapleton, a middle class house wife from Chiswick said "I love petitions, I see stuff that's not right and I feel I have to get involved.  However now I'm not so sure. Clarkson is a vile man, in fact I'm pretty sure I've signed a petition for him to be fired before.  I haven't checked the spreadsheet I use to keep up to date with what I've signed and what I haven't but it does ring a bell"

Giles Holmes, a retired business man from Epsom said "I'd sign something if I heard about someone doing something on a TV show that I didn't watch, that's normally what Clarkson does, makes some remark on the One Show or some such tat and then someone would start a petition but this is Clarkson, can I support him?  In the end the urge to show my disgust might be too great, whether I agree with the cause or not."

Conspiracy theorists admit "everything could be as it seems"

The people behind circulating the worlds biggest conspiracy theories admit that it could be all made up.

The admission comes after a radio interview with one of the worlds leading conspiracy theorists, Joe Talbot who told the U.S. station Informed News that there is a 25% chance that all the theories about aliens, JFK and the Illuminati could be false.

When asked is there any doubt in his mind Talbot said "I suppose that there is a 25% chance it might be false, but they're not, there's too much evidence, clearly there is something going on"

He continued "After Roswell it took the U.S. Government three days to make a statement, eventually saying it was a weather balloon, previously they denied there was any incident.  Why not just say it was a weather balloon in the first place?"

Other conspiracy theory experts have also admitted that their claims could be false, Charles Labbott, a landscape gardener from Wrexham who is also a Titanic conspiracy theorist said "yeah, it could all be false, I think the White Star Line lied about the Titanic  sinking for the insurance, they sunk another ship instead, that's what I believe.  Although I must admit I could be wrong"

Jeremy Clarkson forgets to release book before getting into trouble.

Jeremy Clarkson has admitted he made the monumental fatal error of forgetting to release a book before getting suspended from the BBC for a "fracas" with a producer.

The Top Gear presenter is often in the media for his controversial actions and opinions but these usually happen to coincide with a book release or sometimes a DVD, just by chance.

However, Clarkson admitted that on this occasion he "forget" to send the manuscript to his publisher.

He said "Normally I just write it and send it off to the publisher, I don't hear anything for months as they like to tone down the racist, sexist and homophobic stuff, which doesn't bother me and then after a couple of months they ring me to ask me to attend some book signings"

Last year Clarkson was in trouble for saying the N word, usually used in a derogatory way to describe black people, in a previously unseen video from 2011.

He went on "But this time I rang them as soon as I got suspended from the BBC and asked when the first book signing was, there was a slight pause, a bit of mumbling and then the guy told me that he hadn't received the manuscript"

Clarkson finished by letting slip why he was suspended from the BBC "it's a bit embarrassing really, now I've been suspended for nothing, I just wanted the publicity for my new book, I didn't even mean to hit the producer, she was the nearest thing to me".