Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Owen Smith asks Theresa May "how do you win a leadership election?" in questions given to Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith has submitted questions to be asked by Jeremy Corbyn at PMQs including the question "how do you win a leadership election?"

In the year that Corbyn has been Labour leader he has been asking Labour members to submit questions to him to be asked at PMQs.

The questions usually relate to housing, the NHS, education or how the Tories sleep at night, "is it upside down or is it in a coffin" was one such example back in February.

Smith took the opportunity to ask the for the UK´s second ever female Prime Minister for some advice.

Smith said "I´ve tried everything else, might as well give this a bash, see what she says, I might get some handy tips.

Saturday, 3 September 2016

"We're going to look down the back of the sofa to find pension cash" says Phillip Green

Phillip Green, the owner of British Home Stores has said he will 'look down the back of the sofa' to find the required money to replace the pension money of his workers.

BHS went out of business and entered liquidation after closing it's doors for the last time at close of business on Sunday, the 28th of August.

Philip Green bought the business for £200 million when it was still on the FTSE 100 in the year 2000 and it became a private company.

Tied up within the organisation was the company pension scheme.

But as the company has since been liquidated and it is thought the pension went with it.

Sir Philip Green, knight of the realm, said "We'll have to find out what we can do, it's not all over just yet. We may find some cash down the back of the sofa, perhaps there is some laying around in one of my drawers in one of my many houses around the world.

He said "Besides, it's all in my wife's name, speak to her, she lives in Monaco.

Kaepernick should stand for the National Anthem" say people who never listened to it's lyrics

An American man by the name of Joseph Duffield has come out in criticism of San Francisco 49ers starting quarterback, Colin Kaepernick, after the football star refused to stand for the American national anthem, the Star Spangled Banner, despite never listening to it's lyrics.

He said "people died so that he might have the freedom to choose, I just don't think he is respecting that.  

Kaepernick stated last week that he doesn't want to stand for the national anthem as he doesn't believe in his country right now so therefore doesn't want to stand for something that he doesn't believe in.

This has caused mass controversy across the states.

One man by the name of Justin Manganelli said in an ill-thought-out Facebook post "Kaepernick was adopted and raised by white people, he should show some respect.  It's being raised by a white couple that got him where he is today. If he had not have been brought up by white people he may well have amounted to nothing.

Another Facebook poster by the name David Coil replied to this saying "So if he hasn't been adopted by white people and raised by blacks, he could say something?

He went on "So you're saying that if Kaepernick had not been raised by a white couple he wouldn't have been in position he's in, but then all these fucks say everyone has an opportunity to get out of any bad situation they're living in and live the American dream....hmmm.

A number of other people jumped to Kaepernick's defence, one, by the name Jenny Bergen said "If you listen carefully to the lyrics you can hear it say that Kaepernick has the right to express himself however he so wishes.  'Land of the free' - Freedom to stand or sit for a song, 'Home of the brave' - He was very brave to do what he did, he could get cut from the team for standing up, or in this case sitting down, for what he believes.

Twitter user caused controversy after starting poll asking if Katie Hopkins father should have pulled out early.

A Twitter user has caused controversy after asking if 'Katie Hopkins' father should have pulled out early whilst he was "screwing" her mother and then setting a poll with the options Yes, No, Should have been terminated, Should have been adopted by a Muslim family living in Libya.

The outspoken comedian, Jimmy Sullivan, set the poll on Twitter earlier today after Hopkins' latest controversial tweet devised to maintain her popularity and keep her talked about.

He said "there is just no purpose for this women, she's trying to be more and more controversial to keep her stock high enough for people want to talk about her, there is no purpose for people like that.  Should she not have been born?  It's not for me to say so I put it to a poll.

Hopkins refused to comment in reply to the controversy, allegedly because there is nothing from Sullivan's past that he can be criticised for, like kicking a woman in the head.

"Are you sure the Conservatives are the opposition" say Jeremy Corbyn critics

Some of Jeremy Corbyn's biggest critics have asked "What do you mean the Conservatives are the opposition?"

High profile outspoken critics of the Labour leader have stated they aren't even aware that their party has an opposition stating that "we just thought we were here to agree with the government, are we supposed to be opposing the Conservatives?

One of the critics, JK Rowling, who spends her days writing fictional stories about how amazing life was for the working class under the previous Labour government said "I didn't realise they were the opposition, I just thought we were taking it in turns to be in power agreeing with the major things like invading small countries for oil and taking away money from single mums, I never knew we were supposed to be criticising them.

Labour MP for Birmingham Yardley, Jess Phillips, who was last critical of the Government on Twitter in May said "Are you kidding me, this isn't even a feminist issue or something, what are you talking about?  Have they been critical of Jewish people, that's all that matters.


Friday, 2 September 2016

The BBC iPlayer's parental controls activated for the first time

For the first time ever someone has activated the parental controls on the BBC's iPlayer it has been revealed.

Tom Smith, a 16-year-old from Reading said "I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing.

When you watch a programme on iPlayer that is not suitable for under 18s you're asked to confirm that you're over the required age.

With no proof of age being required everyone has always only ever clicked the yes option but the young Mr Smith opted for no.

He said "I wasn't paying attention, someone was talking to me.  I didn't realise what I was doing.  I read it say "Are you over 18" as I'm not I clicked no and it directed me to Cbebbies instead.